It Is… Now What?

It is hot in Tucson.

That may not sound like news in July, but the heat has been relentless. We plan our days around it—walk early (or not at all), run errands before noon, keep water nearby, find shade, and stay inside when the afternoon sun becomes too much.

I can complain about it—and sometimes I do. But the heat doesn’t change because I think it shouldn’t be this hot.

It is.

I’ve been thinking about those two words lately because they apply to much more than the weather: a diagnosis we didn’t want, a plan that fell apart, a person who disappointed us, a body that doesn’t move quite the way it once did, or a life change we never would have chosen.

Our first response may be anger, fear, sadness or disbelief. All of that is human.

Accepting what is doesn’t mean we shouldn’t feel what we feel. But eventually, we come face-to-face with a simple truth:

This is what is happening.

I’ve been reading about Stoicism for years, and Ryan Holiday is one of my favorite authors. https://ryanholiday.net/ He has a wonderful way of taking ancient Stoic wisdom and making it practical for the lives we’re living today.

Stoicism is not about pretending something is fine. It is about seeing it clearly for what it is.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote:

“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of things.”

At first, that can sound as though he is saying difficult things shouldn’t upset us. I don’t believe that’s the point.

Illness hurts. Loss hurts. Bad news can turn a life upside down. And extreme heat is exhausting, no matter how philosophical we try to be.

But we often add another layer of suffering by arguing with reality: This shouldn’t be happening. This isn’t fair. This isn’t how I planned it. This has to change before I can be okay.

Sometimes it can change. Sometimes it can’t. Either way, the first step is the same:

It is.

Then comes the real Stoic question: What is mine to do?

I can’t change Tucson’s temperature, but I can change how I move through the day. I can’t undo bad news, but I can decide what my next step will be. I can’t control another person’s choices, but I can choose how I respond. And I can’t stop life from changing, but I can meet the change with as much steadiness as I can find.

That isn’t resignation. It is the moment we stop using all our strength to fight what has already happened—and begin using that strength for what is still ours to choose.

I don’t always get there immediately. Sometimes I need to complain first. Sometimes I need to be disappointed, angry or afraid. But when I’m ready, I can take a breath and say:

It is. Now what?

— PAUSE & PRACTICE: GOT 30 SECONDS? —

Think of one thing in your life that you have been wishing were different.

Take one slow breath. As you exhale, say silently:

It is.

Then ask yourself: What is mine to do now?

You don’t need to figure out the entire future. You may simply need to rest, ask for help, make a phone call, change a plan—or wait until you have more clarity.

Acceptance doesn’t solve everything, but it can give you solid ground to stand on.

— WHAT I’M EXPLORING —

One of Ryan Holiday’s books that has stayed with me is The Obstacle Is the Way.

The book draws from the Stoic idea that although we may not choose the obstacles that appear in our lives, we can choose how we meet them.

The question becomes less, Why is this happening to me? and more, What can I do with what is here?

The obstacle may not disappear. But it no longer has to take all of our energy.

The Obstacle is the Way

— THIS WEEK’S INVITATION —

If you would like a little help creating more space between what happens and how you respond, I invite you to explore Meditations for All Seasons.

It includes 52 short guided meditations—one for every week of the year—created to help you pause, reconnect with yourself and move through life’s changing seasons with greater awareness.

Learn more about Meditations for All Seasons

— CLOSING THOUGHT —

The weather is what it is. The news is what it is. This moment is what it is.

And within all of that, there is still one question worth asking:

What is mine to do now?

In Light,
Willow